Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Romanceing the Pizza: the short north--pizza?

She said it would only take a second. I was game. Its so hard to refuse her when she looks in to my eyes. She promised beer, snacks, and a lack of deutche-bags because it was a Tuesday. I caved the minute she asked.


The place was crawling with professional-men, that couldn't even take their tie off on the way to the bar, scenesters, bikedudes, and hip-hop dudes. Everyone had their respective looks down perfectly. It was loud, but I could hear only her voice. Nothing she said mattered to me. I wanted to make out. She wanted pizza. I can never refuse pizza, even at a hellhole like this.

That was no pizza. It was called "Chicken Tandadori Something Something." What the fuck? It was small--one size fits all. I guess they are meant for people to eat while nursing their vodka and cocaines-weight watchers, you know. I was still hungry. She ordered nachos, even they came with straws.
In the short north they won't make you pizza--they'll make you a flatbread.

11 comments:

Mr. Icepicc said...

I had it once... not good. and that Colin guy is a bit of a fuck tard. Every lousy bite I took made me think of his ugly ass counting $$$$$. Good bloody marys though

Party Gabe said...

This is way off. Where's your professionalism? Did you slay this pie? Because I didn't see an adequate breakdown of its merits (or lack there of). No hype, crust, cheese, sauce, peps, or overall pie rating? This entry is sub-par. Remember, there are THrEE P's, not just one!

Party Gabe said...

P.S. I commend you for snapping a few pictures with your cell. That's brave in mixed company, especially when it might force you to admit "Oh, I'm just taking pictures of our food and beverages for my pizza blog, which is really cool and gets me all kinds of ass."

P.P.S. I know thereof is one word, sorry about the typo.

Hinze said...

Party Gabe--
Thank you for noticing that this was not a proper review. Remember: we only review PIZZA--not flatbread. Since it was the latter it was not reviewable.

watson said...

you went out for pizza with the hold steady?

pizza steve said...

Nothing worse than flatbread breath.

The Rookie said...

Leave the lady slaying for another blog - we all we care about is good pie!

sarahpalin said...

What kind of a pussy eats flatbread pizza? I fucking shoot flatbread pizza. Then I dress a moose!

relevant keeler said...

so did he come or not?

4D said...

Hinze, are you carrying a fucking purse now?

sam said...

deutche-bags????? almost german