Grandad's Pizza in Byrne's Pub (1254 West 3rd Avenue, Columbus, OH) Grandview

Hype: I've seen coupons here and there but there wasn't really any.  We knew they served pizza in a bar, which is tough to mess up, so it sounded like a surefire way to eat a good pie and and have some refreshments before the BIG GAME!!!

Scene: Gee, it's a good thing we weren't there at night.  It looks to be an Irish Rock bar.  Beyond the possibility of hearing Irish music this is a nice place.  Wide selection at the bar, ample seating with an excellent patio. They serve good pizza too.  Oh yeah, affordable Great Lakes pitchers and TV screens helped us root for an undefeated Northwestern Football Squad.

The Pie:
Crust- thin to win.  stood up to plenty of sauce while maintaing it's COLUMBUS EDGE.  Take a look at that.
Sauce- not too flavorful, but that was ok.  It was kinda sweet with hints of tomatoieness.
Cheese- mild, evenly applied.
Peps- very nicely cupped, with some greasiness.  Very spicy.  Very delightful.

Overall: Nice place.  This pizza was not mind-blowing but it is an excellent Columbus-style pizza.  It fits in perfectly as a thin, spicy pepped, Grandview/Arlington Style pie.  The fact that you can eat it in Byrnes makes it a no brainer.  If I lived in Grandview (and I would never consider it) I would do Grandads all the time. 4--5 pies!!!!!!!!!!

Taranto's Pizza, 1282 East Powell Road, Lewis Center (614)841-2345

Hype: Dave heard about this place somehow from somebody. Lewis Center is not the first place on anyone's list of weekend destinations, unless you like big malls and personalized license plates--but for some reason we really wanted to try this place out.

Scene: After driving through an entire zip code dominated by bush-league chain operations it felt nice to sit down in a solid family-owned business. We came in to see a couple of kids finishing up some pie with their dad and other nice stuff. Not exactly a cool vibe in there but very comfortable. I guess it dates back to before Lewis Center sucked. Rumor is that a giant cornfield was there.
THE PIE!
Crust- Traditional Columbus style party thinz. This place was not trying to break the mold in any way, but they got it right. It was a little well done compared to some others we have had. This was a good thing, perhaps.
Sauce- Slightly sweet with barely a hint of Italian Seasoning. pretty good.
Cheese- Liberally applied and a little chewy. Mine kept coming off of the slice in one big sheet. Almost frustrating.
Peps- Nickel sized salty and somewhat curled up.

Overall- Not deviating one bit from the standard of the town this place did not disappoint or pleasantly surprise. It delivered a solid go-to pie for a reasonable price. If I lived up there, and I don't, luckily, I would get this pizza early and often. A good 3--5 pies.

Luigi's Pizza (5370 Cemetary Rd. Hlliard, OH)

Hype: We got burned last visit to Hillard so we thought we'd give it another try. A lot of people told us that this was one of the go to places in town, so how bad could it be? Plus we watched Ohio State's weak offense against Mich. State all afternoon...needed a good pizza pick-me-up.

Scene: Clearly family owned. While it was a bummer to drive past the never-ending Cemetery Rd. strip mall, once we got there we found a few posters on the wall, a Ms. Pac-Man machine, and every worker looked related-- good signs.

The Pie:
Crust- Very thin, but boring. This is such a standard path to take in Columbus, how can you get it wrong? Well, they found a way.
Sauce- I tasted lots of oregano, but it was not enough to prevent us from applying tons of red pepper flakes.
Cheese- Flavorless.
Peps- Boring.

Overall: boring. There must be some mistake. People have been hyping this place to us for over a year. Is this mediocrity the norm in Hilliard? I doubt it. The good people of Hilliard like affordable housing, football, and Starliner Diner (quality stuff). Although, they also like the Blue Jackets, long commutes, and Cheeseburger in Paradise: whoah. Our quest is not over. We think Hilliard has a pizza story to tell. There must be something to this no-nonsense town and we will find it. 2.5--5 pies, perfectly mediocre.

Portofinos Pizza [1600 Oakland Park Ave, Columbus, OH 43224 (614) 262-2662]

Hype: We've had this one before. It is great for parties, Buckeye games, and the like. We were hungry after watching some football so we decided to slay a 30 inch pie. Look at the size of that thing!!!!!!!!

Scene: It's on the other side of 71 on Oakland park near cleveland. Not my hood. The guy behind the counter had a Juggalo tattoo. nuf said. No tables.

The Pie:
Crust- Chewy outer handles, crisped well. Foldable inner slices. Very nice.
Sauce- Sweet, with a touch of red pepper for some zest. Excellent.
Cheese- Weak point of this pie. Not bad. It just can't keep up with the other parts.
Peps- Nice. Salty and spicy. Some crisped, some still flat. Very good.

Overall: We endorse this pie for all party events. Never had one smaller than 30inches, but why would we? A very strong 3-5.

Frozen Pizza Depression (71 W. Tulane Rd. Columbus, OH 43202)

Hype: We are poor. We are lazy. These two factors led us to forgo Gatto's, which would have been infinitely better, but at considerable cost. Plus, OSU was actually struggling against the Bobcats of Ohio University. Nobody was willing to go pick it up at a moment like this!!!


Scene: Partying: Saturday-afternoon- buckeye-style. The Big Ten Network is now on cable for the masses. Everyone is glad that we are not with the crowd at Brewsters- good once in a while, but not for routine.












Pie #1--Frucheta (sp?) Brick oven style
Crust: When cooked as directed the crust actually crisps and has a sweetness to it. Not too bad.
Sauce: Also sweet. Some flavor. Not too much plastic wrap in its essence.
Cheese: Almost tastes like cheese.
Toppings: Good. Steve had a supreme and they were flavorful and pretty tasty.
Overall: Its a fucking frozen pizza. 1-5. Way better than pizza #2 though.



Pie #2--Giant Eagle Rising Crust
Crust: Rose to about 1 inch thick. Somewhat of an overkill eh?
Sauce: Burnt the fucking shit out of the roof of my mouth. I could not wait. Dave too.
Cheese: Fuck this.
Peps: Soft, shitty. Flavorless. Bummer.
Overall: I could taste the savings, but we needed food and I got this one a few weeks ago for 2.50 a shot. Once in a while they get super-cheap so I stock up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1-5 pies.

** If you have the opportunity to drink a few Coor's Lights, and eat 1 free pizza and one for $2.50 while watching OSU and partying with your pals, don't pass it up. But man, Gattos would have been SWEET!!!!!!!