Saturday, April 25, 2009

Planks Pizza (S. High St. in Brewery District)

Hype- People talk about it all the time. Some good, some bad. It was high time we tried it out officially. It should be noted that when you eat Planks Pizza your experience will be highly dependent on how good of a time you are having with all the beer and whatever else is going on that night. Here we were just catching lunch, so there you have it. Ya know?

Scene- A table of German Village tools were hitting on a table of German Village sluts next to us. Several families were under the roofed in area watching NASCAR or Baseball. I think it was baseball. I do like the patio. Not bad for a sunny afternoon.
The Pie
Crust- Very good. This and the sauce are the highlight of the pizza. Very well done. Crispy all the way through. Thin, like most pizzas in this town and sliced in party-squares.
Sauce- Sweet, sweet, sweet. If you don't like sweet sauces don't eat this pizza. We don't hate on any sauces so we were in to it.
Cheese- When the pie arrived with browned cheese on top I was ready to party, but this was disappointing. Relatively flavorless.
Peps- Large, but not in charge. Try a different topping maybe.

Overall: Somebody summed it up well: "this is drinking pizza." They were right. It is thin and understated. An affordable $11.50 for a large helps too. I think with a million toppings it would be good, but that won't help it in our study. A weak 3--5 pies. Overrated by many people that often have better taste. I guess this is proof that pizza is very contextual. When I'm drunk I often eat and enjoy Chef Boy-R-Dee. It's AWESOME.


The Cleveland Cavaliers are a forced to be reckoned with this spring.  So is Gattos Pizza!  We got together, as we always do, to cheer on Bron Bron, Big Z, and the crew and this time we added an extra TWIZT: a few boxes of one of Columbus, OH's finest pies. GATTOS.
Look at Jason enjoy the Vegetarian options available at GATTOS (corner of Kelso Rd and N. High Street, across from the grocery store).  The non-buddhists got Pep pies, and one of their specialties, the meatball pizza!!!  Holy fucking shit that was awesome.
The Cavs one.  Next time you are in Clintonville  and are looking to party stop by Gattos pizza for a slice of life.  This pizza is above our review.  Have a happy day.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Goodfella's Pizza (Athens, OH)

Hype: Everyone with ties to Athens, OH talks this pizza up.  It is an OU mainstay and right down the street from the Union Bar; a place that knows how to put on a pretty good rock show. Bo Davis and I were ready to give this place a try.  Let's see what we find.

Scene: Little corner shop run by OU meathead assholes.  It has a few tables and two good benches out front.  Puke on the sidewalk out front adds a collegiate touch.  
The Pie
Crust- Terrible.  Underdone, bland, too doughy.  Just leave it in a little longer.  It wasn't that busy.  
Sauce-  Lots of oregano, which I usually like, but this shit sucked.  Dry to the point of being almost mealy and one-dimensional.  NO GOOD.
Cheese- Frozen
Peps- I didn't taste them, and if I had they couldn't have made up for how bad the dough was.  

Overall: Fuck this  pizza.  Laura B called it "SCROADY." which is some reference to a ball-sack.  Bo Davis was disgusted.  I was up with doughy stomach ache way past my bedtime.  I know this is Athens, late night pizza but even those who were drunk didn't like it.  Athens deserves better.  If you want pizza in this town go down to that place across from the Burrito Buggy.  We haven't had it but its probably better than this asslice.  A weak 2-5 pies simply for being pizza. 

Friday, April 10, 2009

Profiles of Excellence: French Rockers- Happy Burger

We sat down and had a few slices with France's Happy Burger.  They like burgers, I guess, and pizza.  Weird.  CHECK IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!

PS: So, France, huh? How is the pizza over there compared to the USA?
well we have italian pizza, which is good but not as good as in italy, but france is a better country so we still have the best deal. otherwise, we have dominos, pizza hut, and it taste the same as american's, and we love it.
PS: Burgers and pizza are both great party-foods. Do you have any other favorites?

PS: What is your favorite pizza place in France? Do they have patio seating like in the movies?
they mostly don't have patio and that's too bad. we don't have favorite pizza place, pizza is always good, except for turkish pizza, it taste gay.

PS: Yeah, there's a horrible place run by Middle Eastern people here in town called Al Pachino's. Horrible!  So, when you are just hanging out alone and you need some cheap and easy food, what is your 'go to' frozen pie? 
three cheese kicks ass, bolognaise or magarita, man it's like asking "who would you save from death? you mom or your grandma?" you just can't make a choice.

PS: Any plans for a USA PIZZA PARTY TOUR soon? 
not soon but maybe someday, then we will play a show, next day a pizza contest, then a show, then a pizza contest, and so on.

thank you very much.

Check out Happy Burger on myspace and order their record from Douchemaster.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Dewey's Pizza (W. 5th Ave, Grandview 614-487-8282)

Hype: People have been telling us all about this place.  We've heard it was awesome, bad, expensive--all kinds of stuff.  We just had to slay this pie!!!!!!!!

Scene: It looked kinda like a fancy yuppified
 microbrew-serving bar/restaurant, but it wasn't too bad because you could see the guy hand tossing the crusts.  Lots of young girls working there, which could be a blessing or a curse.  The menu was filled with really fancy "gourmet" pizza combinations that I can't even remember but we aren't gay so we just got a 17" pepperoni.

Crust- New York Style Pizza!  Foldable, hand tossed, chewy, but slightly underdone.  A little crispness on the outside with a chewy crust would have made this crust perfect, rather than near-perfect.
Sauce- This was the highlight of the pie.  Sweet, strong oregano, small bits of tomato and all good.
Cheese- Nicely added, good flavor and highlighted the sauce well.
Peps- Low point of the pie.  Not bad at all though.  Thin and not very flavorful.  Maybe they spend too much time worrying about the prosciutto and artichokes.    

Overall: Great addition to the Columbus pizza scene.  This is a welcome alternative to Ohio-style shops that are all over the northwest end of town.  You should stop by!  As for price, not too bad.  The only reason it was too expensive when your parents took you there is the expensive pizza you ordered.  Our pep was normally priced.  STRONG 4 out of 5 pies!!!!!

***Party boyz: They serve beer.